I got up at 4 in the morning.. felt a little wet.. thought I need to go to the bathroom.. went.. came back to bed.. I thought I was experiencing contractions, but they were too mild and I was too sleepy, so went back to bed.
Got up at 9, had chai, told mom about the morning. She thought I might be in early labor, recommended me to talk to my doctor. It was July 5th, doctor's clinic was closed, so the doctor (Dr. Smriti Nalwa) told me to go to Good Sam Hospital and get a check up.
I got ready, took a nice warm shower, and was ready at around 10:30am to go and get a regular routine checkup. Himanshu and I went with all the intention of coming back soon. But the results were positive. My water was leaking. With a risk to cause infection to the baby, I had to be induced. At 12, I was given Pitocin, 12:30 I felt my first contraction, and by 2:30 in the afternoon I was fully dilated, ready to push. The doctor came at 3:00 and at 3:09.. I was a mom :)
As soon as the nurse kept you, a new born on me, bare naked, wet, cranky, eyes tight shut, snugged into a ball.. those tiny toes and tiny fingers.. I remember you looked sooo new.. I was overwhelmed. I couldn't believe that I have pushed a life out of me. That this breathing, crying, moving thing is mine.. mine forever.
I had to look at you again.. and again.. to believe. The first thing I noticed were your eyes, even though they were tightly shut, I knew you had big eyes. You, I thought, at the time of birth, looked exactly like your dad. I couldn't see you as much as I would like to, they took you and I promise, it was only a few seconds but I couldn't wait to see you again. I kept turning and twisting, while the nurses cleaned you. They were talking to Himanshu, telling him your weight and height, and I kept asking.. "What..what did you say?.."; wanting to be involved, involved in my baby.. I felt like I was missing out ..
Soon, they gave you back to me. I held you like an expert... the perfect hold, even though I had never held a baby that small... and I know it was not the Child Care classes.. I was just being a MOM.. a new mom.
I was not thinking about how my life has changed forever, or about the new responsibilities or whether I am ready for them or not. I was not worrying about anything a new mom would worry about.. I was too new. I was only thinking about - how beautiful you are.
